This one is definitely subjective. I prefer a little bit of resistance on the draw. It slows me down, and I feel it pulls more of the flavors out.

As a way to more consistently gauge the draw between different vitolas, I opt to use a punch as often as I can, resorting to a deep V-Cut only when the punch isn’t an option. I feel using the guillotine adds too much variability to how the cut is applied and the resulting draw. This is why I kept the draw to only 3 points.

In my opinion, a cigar is going to fall into only a handful of categories when considering the draw.

• Good (3): In my preferred zone for draw resistance.
• Average (2): Too loose or tight, but still very smokeable as-is. This might be other people’s preferred draw.
• Poor (1): Plugged but recoverable with a draw tool, or develops draw issues during the smoke.
• Terrible (0): Troublesome to the point of being unsmokeable or very close to it

This one can be a little tougher, but it’s something I try to keep consistent. I don’t smoke shipped cigars ROTT (Right Off The Truck) and try to avoid excessive outdoor weather conditions for a review to avoid key environmental factors. All my cigars come from the same humidor and generally have several weeks of rest time at a minimum to ensure they’re all coming from similar baseline conditions.

With that in mind, I’m looking for consistency in the burn and an ash that holds together well.

• Great (4): The burn line is razor sharp, even from side to side with almost no waviness. The ash will stack past the first third, preferably to the midpoint, with minimal to no flakiness. Straight stackin’ dimes or bust. No relights or corrections are necessary.
• Good (3): The burn line may have slight waviness or one side may burn a little quicker, but it will not require a manual correction. The first third should burn fully before the ash falls. Some flakiness or feathering is acceptable, as well as one relight. Cigars that might qualify as “Average” can get back to “Good” if they self-correct.
• Average (2): The burn line may start to canoe or have other common issues like ash splitting, but a manual correction recovers the burn if it doesn’t self-correct. The ash may not hold on for more than an inch and could be very flaky and messy. One relight or correction may be necessary, but no more than two. Overall, the cigar requires attention, but not constant maintenance with the lighter.
• Poor (1): Multiple relights and corrections, excessively messy or unstable ash that covers the smoker. Canoeing, tunneling, coning, mouse holes, running, etc. A cigar that needs a lot of effort to get through but remains smokeable.
• Terrible (0): A cigar that no amount of effort can recover for a manageable burn, or one that may not even burn at all.

Great examples of a top notch Greatburn include this AJ Fernandez 20th Anniversary and the Avowed New Dawn.

Clearly this is SUBJECTIVE AS FUCK, because you might love something that I slag. It’s going to happen, so get over it—or don’t, whatever… 😅 But I will do my best to rate with some consistency.

Ultimately, I’m looking for interesting flavors, transition, nuance, complexity, balance, blowjobs—are you even still reading?

• Excellent (5): A memorable and enjoyable blend throughout the entire smoke.  I always say Excellent cigars, “make me feel feelings,” and by that, I mean both my nipples and dick are hard. 👌These are stunners.
• Great (4): Complex, balanced and with distinct flavors, but fall just short of making me feel feelings.  Share these with friends when you want to be regarded as a person of taste and distinction.
• Good (3): Good is good.  When value priced, these make for great yard-gars or bulk buys, but more expensive cigars will be disappointing because the value prop won’t be there.  Sometimes these are cigars that use unique or rare tobaccos and could make for a unique experience, but not one that you’ll want to revisit regularly.
• Average (2): Not bad, but not good. Inoffensive and nothing special. If there are some really good moments, they’re offset by as many if not more, mediocre ones.  It’s the cigar equivalent of being in the friend zone.  But unless you’re cigar-curious or have a different palate than me, you’ll likely be unimpressed and want to pass on these.
• Poor (1): Dog rocket. ‘Nuff said.
• Terrible (0): You might as well let somebody shit in your mouth instead of just puffing on that turd. You’ll be happier for it.

Eventually, you’ll read enough of my reviews where you’ll decide that either you align with my palate and agree, or you’ll be seriously butthurt about it. You can either comment on Instagram (where I’m directing all feedback and comments), politely move on and stop reading my reviews, or get pissed off enough that you start doing your own reviews.

Pick a lane, bubs.

Oh look, more subjective ratings! Have we figured out that this entire process is subjective as hell yet? 😅

This is a bit of a wildcard. Maybe there was one area dragging the cigar down but the overall smoke was fantastic, or this is just a reflection of averaging things out. Who knows? But the ratings should be pretty self-explanatory, no? If you’ve read the entire review and still don’t understand my choice of rating here, I’m not sure what to tell you. 🤷🏻‍♂️

• Excellent (5): It was excellent.
• Great (4): It was great.
• Good (3): It was good.
• Average (2): It was average.
• Poor (1): It was poor.
• Terrible (0): I hope whoever blended or green-lit this cigar gets ass cancer.

As stated earlier, this is a value assessment. There might be a cigar that rates highly, but maybe it’s expensive and the value proposition isn’t there. Maybe it’s a budget stick that’s an absolute banger and punches above its weight. Or maybe it’s a good cigar but it’s sold only through certain channels or it’s routinely heavily discounted.

All that factors in.

I decided to update my value assessments to statements based off the Magic 8 Ball, but in case you need extra explanation, I add a little more in the parentheses to expand on what each one means.

My hope is that these are fairly self-explanatory, buuuuuuuuut, just to save you from thinking too much, I take the Base Rating and Value Assessment and combine them into an overall score that’s based on a 0 to 10 scale.

That’s about as easy to understand as it gets, right? And we have a simple enough logic to explain how we got there.